Got Any Dumb Tech Support Stories?

We’ve all been there, right? The frustrating experience of calling tech support and hoping they can solve our problem. Usually, they do a great job. But sometimes, not so much. Let me share my recent experience with HP.

My Story with HP

A few months ago, I bought an HP Color Laserjet 2600n for my office. It’s a nice printer that gets the job done. But there was one annoying issue – whenever I printed something in color, anything with blue in it would lose color in a one-inch gap vertically on the page, about an inch from the right side. The printer was still under warranty, so I decided to call HP for help.

The first call was pretty normal. I talked to a nice lady who took down my details and gave me a case number. Then she transferred me to an Indian guy who followed a troubleshooting flowchart. We did some diagnostic tests, but in the end, he blamed the printer. He said the printer was causing the toner issue. I thought it was more likely a toner problem, but I went along with it. HP offered to send me a replacement printer for free, along with a prepaid return label for the original one. I just had to provide my credit card information as a guarantee.

That’s when the fun started. The first printer was “delivered” according to FedEx, but I never received it because they didn’t require a signature. So, I called HP and said, “Hey, I didn’t get my printer!” They took it up with FedEx and sent me a second printer. But when it arrived, it was smashed. The front cover hinge was broken, and the paper tray was in pieces. At this point, I was pretty frustrated with FedEx. Can’t they deliver a printer properly? I called HP again and told them what happened. They asked for pictures of the damage and told me to send it back. They promised to overnight a third printer to me. So now, I had four printers involved in this whole mess: the one I bought, the one lost by FedEx, the one that got broken, and the new one coming overnight.

I packed up the broken printer and sent it back. The new one arrived, and I set it up, put in the toner, plugged it in, and ran a test print. And guess what? The same exact problem happened again. I was so frustrated! I called HP AGAIN (their number is 1-800-474-6836, and I have it memorized by now) and explained everything. We went through troubleshooting steps again, like the weight of the paper and plugging the printer directly into the wall. But none of it made any sense. Finally, the support person agreed with me that it was probably a toner issue. And guess what? The new toner fixed the problem. It was such an obvious solution, but we went through so much trouble to get to that point.

So, my evaluation? FedEx, you seriously need to get your act together. One printer is lost, another one got destroyed, and I have no idea where the first one is. HP’s service was good, but they misdiagnosed the problem right from the start. And from a business standpoint, all these problems cost them a lot of money. They lost two printers and the third one lost value because it was technically a used printer. Is this really the cost of doing business?

Oh yeah, HP, you should try working with UPS next time.

Some Really Dumb Ones

If you think my story is bad, check out these real classics I found on this website:

• Me: “The ethernet card you gave me doesn’t work with Linux.”
• Tech Support: “Did you install the DOS drivers?”
• Me: “I’m using Linux, so the DOS drivers won’t work.”
• Tech Support: “Why not?”

Another time, I called my local phone company to ask about ADSL availability:

• Me: “Is ADSL available in my area?”
• Customer Service: “We offer 56k.”
• Me: “No, I mean ADSL.”
• Customer Service: “Oh, we don’t offer 28.8k anymore.”
• Me: “No, I’m talking about ADSL.”
• Customer Service: “What city do you live in?”
• Me: “Dalton.”
• Customer Service: “No, we don’t offer 28.8k anymore.”

I once had trouble downloading an operating system upgrade for my PDA and called tech support:

• Me: “I can’t get this download to complete. What could be causing it?”
• Tech Support: “What operating system are you running?”
• Me: “Windows NT.”
• Tech Support: “You need Windows 98 or better to download it.”
• Me: “I am running Windows NT4, SP5.
• Tech Support: “Are you on a PC or a Mac?”

Yeah, these stories are pretty ridiculous.

Got Any Stories to Share?

If you have any dumb tech support stories of your own, feel free to share them in the comments!

Multiple Monitors: Windows XP vs. OS X

10 thoughts on “Got Some Stupid Tech Support Stories?”

Deputy Van Halen says:

Abraham: I can answer your questions about AT&T U-verse products. Can you please tell me which state you’re located in and the zip code?
you: — deleted —
you: where is max turbo available
Abraham: Thank you for considering AT&T U-verse.
Abraham: Are you an existing AT&T Home Phone customer?
you: no
Abraham: Max Turbo Internet plan is available depending on the location.
you: right, where is it available
Abraham: Are you looking for TV and Internet?
you: max turbo internet
Abraham: Max Turbo has just been introduced and is available in selected locations.
you: how can I find out those locations
Abraham: After you checked the availability, you will go to the order page and click on Internet section. If you see Max Turbo, then it’s available to you.
you: how do I find out where it is available
Abraham: On the Internet selection page, you can click on it and see all the plans available in your location.
you: I understand. How do I find out where Max Turbo is available?
Abraham: Let me know your full address and zip code, and I will check that for you.
you: I know it’s not available in my neighborhood. I want to know WHERE it IS available.
Abraham: For now, Max Turbo is available only in Connecticut.
you: Are you making that up?
you: att.com says it’s available in Austin, San Antonio, and St. Louis.
Abraham: As Max Turbo has just been introduced, it’s not available in all locations yet.
you: So if I live in Connecticut, I can get it?
Abraham: Yes, if you’re in Connecticut, you will get Max Turbo.
Abraham: The contact number for your AT&T specialist is 1-866-805-3921 for business service.
Abraham: Is there anything else I can assist you with?
you: No, thanks!

This is the story of a tech-savvy person’s first call to tech support.

My school had a copy of Maya that I needed to install, but the activation wasn’t working. Turns out, my user didn’t have internet access privileges, so I got that fixed. Tried activating again, but it failed because of a previous installation issue. I couldn’t find the hidden registry keys that were causing the problem. So, I wiped the computer clean, reinstalled the OS, and installed the product (which had never been opened before). Finally, I reached the activation screen and looked for the product key sticker on the CD… only to find that there was none. I checked the packaging and CD case multiple times, but no luck. I realized it wasn’t a user error and attempted to activate manually through a phone call. The number wasn’t in service. I searched the web for solutions, checked the product website for tech support, but couldn’t find a link. Eventually, I found a tech support number on a related page. I called it.

Support: This is…

Me: My product activation isn’t working.

Support: This is user tech support. You need product tech support. Here’s the number.

Support: This is…

Me: My product activation isn’t working.

Support: Did you reach the activation screen?

Me: Yes.

Support: Alright, I want you to write down the numbers on the CD.

Me: There are no numbers.

Support: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Support: Is it on the package?

Me: No.

*This continues for a while…*

Support: I don’t know. Can I put you on hold while I get someone who knows more?

Me: …Okay.

*Background talking…*

*Waiting room music…*

*30 minutes pass…*

*I hang up.*

The next day:

I called the same support hoping to get a different person.

Support: Hello, this is…

Me: This is “Me.” I called yesterday about a problem with activation.

Support: Who helped you?

Me: “Support.”

Support: Okay, let me see if I can help.

*Same routine…*

Support: I don’t know. Let me get my supervisor.

Me: …Okay.

*Noisy background talk…*

*Music…*

*Some minutes pass…*

Support: Hello. Are you there?

Me: Yep.

Support: Sorry that took so long. We’re really busy today.

Support: I’m going to transfer you now. Just please wait a minute.

*Music…*

*Wait…*

Head of Support: Hello, how can I help you?

Me: My product activation isn’t working.

*Same script…*

Head of Support: Well, we can send you an activation number via email.

Me: Okay!

Head of Support: I need you to send an email with your MAC address to this address, and you’ll receive a reply with the code.

Me: Okay.

*(Thankfully, I knew how to find a MAC address because they probably didn’t.)*

*Sends email…*

NO REPLY

I call them and find out that even the underlings know about this issue. The reply wasn’t automated, so it would take a few days. Finally, I receive the email… but the activation code is 4 digits too short. I call support again and explain the error. They have no idea, so they give me the support number to call… the same one I called before. I get a support rep who listens to my frustration and the month-long ordeal. He asks me why I’m installing the software, and I explain that I want to use it, and my school needs the copy they bought. Apparently, saying “high school” changed something because I got a business-class support extension (which conveniently wasn’t an option on the support menu). I called that number, and they created a case profile and noted all the known problems. Finally, progress! The person on the line asked for my MAC address again, and I’m relieved that I knew it. They escalated the matter, but even they were stumped. They suggested I call another number, which turned out to be the main office in France.

This story is real, and I apologize for the length, but trust me, it’s actually short compared to a month’s worth of conversations.

Moral of the story:

1. Ask to be escalated to a higher support level.

2. Get a case ID for your issue.

3. Maybe, just maybe, avoid calling support altogether.

Toronto Web Design says:

Alright, here’s my story. I was repairing a friend’s laptop, an HP Pavilion vp7. The problem? Every time it turned on, the wireless network connection was messed up. It showed “Local Network” even when the router was connected to the internet and all other computers could access it.

So, I called HP for help. I spent an hour on the phone explaining the issue to the support rep, but she insisted on removing and reinstalling the network drivers. Surprise, surprise, it didn’t work. The wireless connection still showed “limited” after each restart. Then, the support rep decided to take control of the laptop using a lame version of VNC server. The first thing she did? Check the Windows updates. Five minutes later, she decided to roll back the machine two months. I warned her that it might mess up the computer, as programs and files from that time would be missing. But she said, “Trust me.” So, I went ahead and restored the computer.

Long story short, it completely messed up the computer. It was the worst support experience I’ve ever had. HP really needs to hire better people.

Jenny says:

Okay, so here’s my dumb tech support story. One day, the internet stopped working. I called tech support, specifically for internet issues. After navigating through the phone menu options, I finally got to speak with someone.

Tech Support: Have you tried going to microsoft.com?

Me: Yes, it’s not working. That’s why I’m calling.

Tech Support: Go to microsoft.com.

Me: I can’t.

After about 15 minutes of this back and forth, I got fed up and asked to be transferred to someone else.

I think I ended up talking to their supervisor.

Supervisor: All the information is on microsoft.com.

Me: So you’re telling me that to fix my internet, I need to visit an internet site?

Supervisor: Yes, all the information is there. Why can’t you follow my instructions?

Me: Because it’s broken. That’s why I’m calling you.

Supervisor: All the information is on microsoft.com.

Me: So you’re telling me that to fix my internet, I need to visit an internet site?

Supervisor: Yes, all the information is there. Why can’t you follow my instructions?

Me: Because it’s broken. That’s why I’m calling you.