Hello there! So you want to know if someone has unmatched you on Tinder, huh? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Let me give you a little crash course on how to tell if that special someone has disappeared from your match list.
Even though the dating scene has changed a lot with the cultural revolution, some things unfortunately remain the same – like heartbreak, rejection, and ghosting. Some people argue that online dating has made these things even worse. On most dating apps, you can easily find and match with lots of potential partners, but you can just as easily unmatch with them. And because these apps don’t always tell you when you’ve been unmatched, it can be heartbreaking and confusing when you realize that someone you’ve been talking to suddenly disappears. In this article, I’m going to show you how to tell if you’ve been unmatched and how to move forward in your love life by improving your Tinder profile and having a more successful experience on the app.
Detecting an Unmatch
Rejection is just a part of life, and unmatching is just a part of that. It happens in different ways, whether it’s online, in person, or over text. Breakups and rejection are unfortunately quite common in today’s relationships. People seem to enter and exit relationships more easily than ever before. It doesn’t matter if there was chemistry or if the person seemed to like you. Breakups can happen for various reasons.
Online dating can be even more fast-paced than dating in real life. In platforms like Tinder, it’s hard to know if you’re truly compatible with someone beyond superficial qualities like looks or sense of humor. So often, matches just fizzle out without going anywhere. It’s not necessarily because you did something wrong; who knows what’s going on on the other side of the match! It would be nice if people were mature enough to communicate when things aren’t working out, but the anonymity of the internet makes ghosting a common occurrence. Most of the time, people unmatch without warning, even in the middle of a conversation that seemed to be going well.
Receiving a match on Tinder is always thrilling. It’s a fresh start, a chance to connect with someone new and potentially build a meaningful relationship. You can have great conversations, feel a spark, and even go on amazing dates. But sometimes, things don’t go as planned. The connection fizzles out, things don’t work, or you simply lose touch over text. If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation on Tinder, only for the other person to suddenly vanish, or if you’ve matched with someone only to discover they’ve disappeared from your app, then this guide is for you. I’ll show you how to determine if you’ve been unmatched on Tinder.
Tinder Troubleshooting
The first step is to rule out a technical glitch. Tinder isn’t perfect and, like any software, it can have glitches. To make sure that your vanished match wasn’t just an error, start by closing and reopening the Tinder app on your phone.
First, try logging out and logging back in. Sometimes, a simple glitch is to blame, especially if you notice that ALL of your matches have disappeared. Here’s what you can do:
- Open Tinder
- Tap on the profile icon
- Go to Settings
- Scroll down and tap on Logout
- Log back in with your email and password
If that doesn’t solve the problem, it’s possible that the glitch is not with Tinder but with your phone’s connection. Try reconnecting to see if your matches reappear.
On iOS, you can double-tap the Home button on an iPhone 8 or earlier. On later models, you’ll either need to swipe up from the bottom of the screen and hold your finger, or swipe up and to the right to access the list of apps. Find the Tinder app in the list of running apps and swipe up to force close it. On the iPhone X or later, you’ll have to long press on the app and tap the red X in the corner. Once you’ve successfully closed the app, reopen it to see if your conversation and match have returned to your account.
On Android, most devices have a dedicated Recent Apps button, either on the device itself or as virtual buttons on the screen. Unlike iOS, the apps are displayed vertically. You can force close an app in the same way as on iOS—swipe the app away from the list. On Android, you can also go to your App settings to force close the app without swiping it away from the Recent Apps list.
So, here’s what you can do if you can’t find a conversation or a match notification on the app. First, make sure to stop the app from running and clear it from your device. After that, reopen the app and check both your conversations and notifications. There’s a chance that the missing conversation or match notification was just a mistake.
But wait… you might be blocked
Now, sometimes when you’ve been unmatched, you might feel a strong urge to reconnect with that person. I get it, it’s natural to feel that way. But let me tell you, it’s not really a good idea. When someone unmatches you, it’s usually for a reason. So, your best bet is to respect their decision and move on.
Love is something that has to happen naturally. It can’t be forced or manipulated. And besides, once people have unmatched, Tinder makes sure they don’t come across each other while swiping. So, if the other person has unmatched you, chances are you won’t see them again unless you reset your account.
Dealing With It
Let’s face it, getting rejected or unmatched is something that happens to everyone. Even famous celebrities like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have experienced break-ups. It doesn’t matter how good-looking, wonderful, smart, or rich you are, there will always be people who don’t want to be with you, and that’s okay. Just think about it, there are probably plenty of people you wouldn’t want to be matched with either, if given the chance. So take a deep breath and remember that even though this person wasn’t the right match for you, there is someone out there who is. The key is to keep searching for them.
Now, I know it can be tempting to curl up in a ball and eat ice cream while crying after an unmatch (unless that was your plan all along, in which case, go for it! We won’t judge. Ice cream is delicious and emotions are natural). However, if that match had truly been right for you, they would still be in your life. So instead of dwelling on it, it’s time to get back out there and continue your search for the person who is meant to be a part of your life.
Why Did I Get Unmatched?
It can be really stressful when you get unmatched, especially because you usually don’t know why it happens. Sometimes, you can make a guess like, “Was it because of that joke I made about how she looks in her pictures?” Yeah, that was probably it. Other times, you’re completely clueless. Everything seemed to be going great, and your match even mentioned how funny you are or how much they’re enjoying the conversation. And then, boom, they’re gone.
Once in a while, you’ll find out the reason when they tell you. Like that one time when someone said, “I just found out my long-lost husband wasn’t dead. He was on a desert island after his plane crashed, and now he’s coming home. So, I’m getting off Tinder.” In that case, tell her to say “hello” to Wilson for you, and respect her decision.
So, you know that feeling of anxiety and uncertainty when someone unmatched with you? It can be tough, but figuring out why it happened can actually be helpful. It gives us an opportunity to improve ourselves. We can learn from it and make changes to our presentation or work on certain things. You might even realize that something you thought was funny actually annoys the other person. For example, maybe making jokes about a certain group of people is really offensive to them.
One approach you can try is asking your friends to review your conversations. They might be able to spot clues that you missed, indicating that an unmatch was coming. It can be especially valuable to have someone in your age and gender group review your chats. They can help you identify areas where you can improve your conversation skills.
Making the First Conversation Count
The first couple of interactions you have with someone in a chat can greatly influence whether they unmatch with you or not. This may not be immediately obvious because the unmatch decision is made at that point, but the actual unmatch happens later. Let’s use an example:
Dan: “Hey, I’m Dan!” (Betty’s internal thought: no kidding)
Dan: “So go 49ers, am I right?” (Betty: My profile clearly says I’m 26. Is he illiterate? *she Googles a 49er, just in case*)
Betty: “Um yeah…so what’re you up to?” (Betty’s internal thought: OMG, he was talking about sports. I do not sports. Abort mission! Unmatch!)
Dan: “Just watching the big game! What’re you up to tonight?” (Betty: What’s the most polite way to say “gag me.”)
Betty: “Working on my graduate thesis regarding the God molecule.”
In this situation, it’s clear that Dan and Betty are just not compatible. Even though Dan is trying his best and Betty is trying to be polite, it’s just not meant to be.
First impressions matter. If you make a great first impression with your opening lines, then even if the next few things you say are ordinary, your match will still have a positive impression of you. But if your first two lines are bland, it doesn’t really matter how great the rest of your conversation is – your match has already lost interest. It’s too late; they’re not even paying attention anymore. So it’s crucial to put in the effort to make a strong first impression right from the start.
A key part of making a good first impression is understanding what kind of person your match is. For this example, let’s say it’s a man trying to start a conversation with a woman. But the general principles apply to any gender and any set of potential matches.
If you’re lucky, you may have a lot of information about your match in their bio. This can help you understand their sense of humor (or lack thereof), their interests, and find common ground easily. For example, if they’re from Boston and you’re also from Boston, that’s an easy thing to connect over.
Once you have studied your match, you have three strategies to choose from. Well, actually it’s two strategies plus some really bad ideas that people use on Tinder to fail. Let’s break it down.
Strategy 1: Bad Stuff
This includes generic openers like “hey” or cheesy lines like “did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?” Seriously, if anyone actually started a real relationship with these openers, it was probably because they were in an unfortunate accident and couldn’t read properly. These openers are unreliable and won’t lead to a meaningful connection. Trust me on this.
What other openers fall into this category? Usually, it’s the not-so-clever ones that are popular in Tinder strategy communities like /r/Tinder on Reddit. A prime example is the “Titanic” opener because it’s supposed to be an icebreaker. Some people might find these funny, but realistically and practically speaking… no.
When it comes to Strategy 1, the timing of your opening line doesn’t really matter because it’s going to be bad no matter when you say it.
Strategy 2: Play it Safe
Wait a minute, didn’t we just tell you that you need to start off strong? So why would you want to play it safe? Well, sometimes a Tinder bio doesn’t give you enough information to come up with a good opening line. And trust me, a poorly aimed opener is worse than the Titanic sinking. So, sometimes it’s better to stick with a safe opener that’s not terrible. At least it’ll keep the conversation going rather than crashing and burning.
Your own personality and strengths also play a big role in choosing your ideal strategy. If you’re always tongue-tied or shy, then making a risqué joke about your match’s name might not work for you, even if she would find it funny. If you can’t deliver it well, then it’s not an option for you.
These “good but not great openers” are the reliable choice for people who have swiped right on thousands or even tens of thousands of people. They’ve had countless opening conversations. If you’re going with Strategy 2, don’t jump into the conversation right away when you get a notification. Wait an hour or two to give the impression that you’re an elite Tinder user who can take breaks from the app.
Here are some types of openers that work well with Strategy 2:
Openers related to her photos:
- “I can see you had an amazing trip to Jerusalem! What a great experience!”
- “That photo of the dog is adorable. I’ve had dogs my whole life. Tell me more about this pupper!”
- “I’m so jealous of that beach in Acapulco! When did you go?”
- “You and your friends looked like you were having a blast. Was that Club _____ in the ______ district?”
- “I’ve never seen someone look so pretty in a hockey uniform before.”
- “Not to be forward, but that picture of you in the red dress took my breath away.”
Sometimes the photos don’t provide enough specific information. A sincere and original compliment is always the best way to go, but if you can’t think of one, a sincere and generic compliment will do the trick.
- “I think you’re the most beautiful woman on Tinder.”
- “(Her Name), you have the most beautiful eyes on this planet.”
- “I already swiped right, but I have to say, you’re incredibly attractive.”
Sincere questions about boring topics:
- “I can’t believe it’s already Monday. Did you have a good weekend?”
- “Your bio mentioned you were just in Wisconsin. How was it?”
- “I’m excited that you went to Northwestern! My kid/brother/sister/friend might go there. How did you like it?”
Strategy 3: Yes, I AM This Handsome and Funny
Strategy 3 is all about going all out, impressing the match with an opener they’ll remember forever or at least for as long as the relationship lasts. These are the funny and witty openers that sometimes reveal your naughty intentions early on. If you choose Strategy 3, you should always have good openers ready to go and be prepared to respond right away when you get a match. And it doesn’t hurt to have a clean place and fresh breath because, you know, hookups.
A quick response works well with Strategy 3 because it shows that you’re committed to the conversation right away, despite it being somewhat counterintuitive.
These approaches are risky. Even a good delivery can fail to impress. Here are some common examples, but you can check out the /r/Tinder subreddit on www.reddit.com for more lines to see if they’re winners or not.
- “If you were a fruit, you’d be a Fineapple.”
- “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a Cutecumber.”
- “Truth or dare?”
- If she says “truth,” respond with: “What’s your favorite place to hook up?”
- If she says “dare,” respond with: “I dare you to call me.”
- “On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?”
- “If I were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seeds?”
- “Roses are red, so are your lips, sit on my face and wiggle your hips”
- “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put the D in U.”
- “I’m no weatherman, but you can expect a good few inches tonight.”
Alright, listen up. I’ve got something important to tell you, and you better pay attention. Because if you think you can mess around with the wrong person and get away with it, think again. You might end up being the talk of the town on social media if you try any funny business.
Starting Over
They say the best way to get back at someone is to live well. And when it comes to getting over a rejection on Tinder, the best course of action is to go out there and find even more matches. Sounds simple, right? Well, it’s not always that easy. But I’ll tell you what you can do to increase your chances:
- Improve your pictures
- Create a better profile
- Adjust your expectations
Let’s start with your pictures. They are the very first thing potential matches see, so they better be good. No more dark or blurry shots. Show your face, let your personality shine through. Oh, and let’s keep it classy. Chest-to-crotch pictures are a big no-no. And those party pictures doing a keg stand? Yeah, they won’t impress anyone. Leave the family jewels out of this. Pick a photo that even your sweet old grandma would approve of, but still showcases your natural charm.
Now, let’s talk about your bio. This is your chance to seal the deal. Be yourself, but don’t be a jerk. It’s easy to hide behind a screen and put on a tough act, but try being sincere and honest – especially if you’re just looking for some casual fun. It’s actually quite attractive and sets the right expectations from the start.
Hey there! Let’s talk about managing expectations on dating apps like Tinder. I have this male friend who is a pretty decent guy in his late 30s. He’s got a good job and is reasonably good-looking. But he came to me complaining that he couldn’t find any matches on Tinder. So, I took a look at his profile and guess what? His age preferences were set to only 19-23 year olds and his search radius was just 5 miles. Now, in a small community like ours, it’s not impossible for someone like him to find a young, stunningly beautiful woman who lives nearby. But let’s be real, it’s not very likely either. I’m not saying you should swipe right on everyone, but you need to understand how Tinder works. And also, how 19-year-old supermodels work. Trust me, it’s crucial!
So here’s the deal: you only see people who meet your criteria. And guess what? It’s the same for everyone else. If those 19-year-old girls had set their preferences to exclude men over 25, they wouldn’t be seeing my friend on their screens. So not only is he only seeing a small portion of the women in his area, but only a tiny fraction of that small portion are seeing him too. So, it’s important to include a wider range of people in your preferences. You can always swipe left on anyone who doesn’t float your boat, and actually, swiping left on some profiles is better for your chances. Otherwise, you might come off as desperate and the algorithm won’t be too kind.
Now, if you’ve been unmatched and feeling down, don’t worry! I’ve got some tips to get you back out there meeting new people in no time! And if you want even more tips on how to up your Tinder game, be sure to check out this awesome eBook on Amazon.
By the way, we’ve got a bunch of resources for dating app users like yourself, whether you’re on Bumble, Tinder, or any other platform.
If you use Bumble alongside Tinder, I recommend reading our article on how to tell if someone unmatched you on Bumble.
If you’re thinking of resetting your account, we have a tutorial on how to do it properly.
But hold on! If you’re considering resetting just because you want to get rid of all your current matches, I suggest you read our tutorial on how to delete all your Tinder matches before taking such a drastic step.
And if you want to boost your chances of success on the app, we’ve got an article with some awesome tips for getting more matches on Tinder!
Oh, and we also have an article with great suggestions for writing a funny bio. Trust me, it can make a real difference!
