How to Handle “Hey” Messages on Bumble
Hey there! I want to share some tips on how to respond to those “Hey” messages you might receive on Bumble. It can be a bit puzzling when someone starts a conversation with just a simple greeting, but don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.
First things first, it’s important to remember that receiving a “Hey” message doesn’t necessarily mean the person isn’t interested. They might just be a bit unsure of how to start the conversation. So, instead of feeling discouraged, see it as an opportunity to show off your conversational skills!
Now, let’s dive into some ways you can respond to these “Hey” messages:
1. Be Playful: Add a touch of humor to your response. You could say something like, “Hey back! So, are you secretly a mind-reader? Because I was just about to message you too!”
2. Show Curiosity: Express interest in getting to know them better. You could reply with, “Hey! How’s your day going so far? Anything exciting happening?”
3. Be Creative: Stand out from the crowd by sharing an interesting fact or a funny anecdote. For example, you could say, “Hey! Did you know that elephants are the only mammals that can’t jump? Bet you didn’t see that coming!”
4. Ask a Question: Engage them by asking a question related to their profile or interests. For instance, if they mention hiking, you could ask, “Hey! I noticed you love hiking. Any recommendations for a great trail?”
Remember, the key is to keep the conversation flowing. By asking open-ended questions and sharing a bit about yourself, you’ll encourage the other person to respond and keep the dialogue going.
Lastly, trust your instincts. If someone gives you a lackluster response or doesn’t seem interested in engaging further, it’s okay to move on and focus your attention on someone who shows genuine interest.
With these tips in mind, you’re ready to take on those “Hey” messages like a pro! Good luck and happy connecting!
Bumble is all about giving women the power to start conversations with men. Normally, men are expected to make the first move in dating, both online and offline. But Bumble changed that, partly to level the playing field and partly because some men on other dating apps tend to send inappropriate or gross messages.
With women setting the tone for conversations on Bumble, it creates a more welcoming environment. Women feel more comfortable swiping right because they know they won’t be bombarded with offensive or crude messages. This puts men in a new situation, though. They have to wait for the conversation to begin. It takes some getting used to, but with practice, it becomes easier. It’s just a different norm. Also, don’t forget that having a great online dating bio goes a long way, even beyond the initial conversation.
On Bumble and other dating sites, there’s a common issue with receiving a “Hey” message. It’s the laziest way to start a conversation and shows a lack of effort. It’s like saying, “I don’t care enough to think of something interesting to say, so it’s up to you to make this happen.” Surprisingly, though, many people, regardless of gender, struggle with starting conversations. It’s not that they’re being lazy or passive; they just don’t know how to be active.
If you get a “Hey” message on Bumble, your first task is to figure out if the person is genuinely being lazy or if they’re just shy. On one hand, you might want to ignore it if you’re not interested in a low-effort connection. On the other hand, you might want to make them comfortable and help them open up. In this article, I’ll provide some suggestions and tips for both situations.
Time Keeps on Ticking
When you match with someone on Bumble, all your connections and conversations are stored in the “Beehive.” But are they the same thing?
No, they’re not. When you match with someone, a 24-hour clock starts ticking. In opposite-sex matches, women have 24 hours to send a message to start the conversation. (In other matches, anyone can start.) If no message is sent within the time limit, the match expires and disappears from both people’s Beehives. But either person can use an Extend (free once a day for regular users, unlimited for premium subscribers) to add 24 more hours. This is a way for men to show their strong interest and say, “I really want to talk to you!”
After the first message is sent, another 24-hour clock starts ticking. This time, it’s the other person’s turn to respond. If they don’t reply within 24 hours (unless someone extends the connection), the conversation expires and disappears from the Beehives.
Only when one person initiates and the other responds does the conversation become a permanent part of each person’s Beehive and move to the “Conversations” section.
So, How Do I Respond to “Hey”?
You have a few different options here.
One approach is to respond with a “hey” of your own. Now the conversation becomes permanent, and it’s the other person’s turn to respond. They might not reply, but if you’re unsure about what to say or you’re not interested in the initial contact, this may be the best choice.
Another option is to ignore the message and let the match expire. This doesn’t help you make meaningful matches or meet people, but it might make the other person think twice about their low-effort strategy and put more thought into their opening lines.
Remember, the other person might not be trying to be passive-aggressive or passive. They might just struggle with coming up with something to say. In that case, take the effort to review their profile again, find common interests or things that catch your attention, and take the lead in the conversation. On Bumble, there are women who want the man to take charge, and they send “hey” as a signal for that. You’ll find out more about their preferences later on.
So, here’s a tip for you: put yourself in the shoes of the people who sent you a “Hey” on Bumble. There are two possible reasons why they swiped right on you: either they do that with every profile they see, or there is something about your profile that genuinely caught their attention. Unfortunately, you won’t know which one it is until you start talking.
To quickly figure out why they swiped on you and weed out any serial daters (which is perfectly fine if that’s what you’re looking for), you can simply say, “Hey back! I swiped on your profile because I liked your pictures/we have the same hobbies/etc. What did you like about mine?” It might come across as bold, but many people actually appreciate your straightforward and unapologetic approach.
Here are some good ways to respond:
If you decide that you want to reply, and not just with a plain “hey,” you have multiple options.
One thing you can try is to pretend they didn’t say “hey” at all and just send them the opener you would have used on Tinder or another dating app without the conversational rules of Bumble. This goes against Bumble’s guidelines, but your goal is probably to make meaningful connections rather than strictly following the Bumble algorithm. Plus, they started the conversation first.
Another approach is to start the conversation slowly by saying, “Hey, how are you?” or “Hey, thanks for matching! What’s up?” or something similar. This gradually escalates the conversation from its dry start and works well if the person you’re messaging is a bit shy. It’s important to carefully read their profile in this case. If they have multiple pictures of wild partying at Mardi Gras, they’re likely not that shy, and their “hey” was an invitation for you to take the lead. However, if they only have one picture of themselves hiding behind a book and their profile says “shy,” a more gradual approach might be better to stay within their comfort zone.
A different approach is to directly address the “hey” itself. This can be seen as sarcastic or confrontational, but it might suit your personal style. For example, you could say something like, “Whoa, whoa, calm down there, I’m not that kind of person!” or “OMG, I feel the same way! We must be soul mates!” It can break the ice with the right kind of person or break the match altogether. But hey, you’re not charged per match anyway.
Using emoticons in your response can soften a sarcastic remark or add some humor to a more casual one. Text messages are not great at conveying tone, so what might obviously be a joke to you might not be interpreted as such by your match if there’s no smiley face to give them a hint.
Whatever you decide, just remember to be polite and avoid being rude or overly confrontational. In general, simple and direct communication is best when using dating apps.
What to Say Instead of “Hey”
Hey there! So, you’re on Bumble, ready to start a conversation with someone you’re interested in. But here’s the thing, saying a simple “Hey” might not cut it. You want to stand out, right? Well, lucky for you, there are plenty of options to make a more interesting first impression. Think about what caught your attention about this person’s profile. Maybe you both love kayaking or maybe they have an adorable dog in their profile pic. Those are perfect conversation starters! Trust me, starting off with something you both have in common is a great choice.
Instead of just saying “Hey” or “What’s Up?” why not ask them a question about their hobbies? For example, you can say, “How long have you been into kayaking? I really enjoy it too!” And hey, don’t forget to inject some humor or wit if that’s your style. The options are endless, my friend, and they’re not that complicated at all.
Frequently Asked Questions
I messaged someone but they never replied. What’s going on?
Don’t worry, this is a common frustration in online dating. You matched with someone, sent them a clever and intriguing message, but got no response. It’s a bummer, I know. There could be a bunch of reasons for this. Maybe they’re one of those people who swipe right on everyone, or maybe they simply weren’t interested in your initial message. In that case, it’s always a good idea to have a backup plan and follow up with another message.
But here’s the thing, they could also be offline or busy with other stuff. So, if you’re genuinely interested in them, you can use the extend match option to give them more time to respond. It’s worth a shot, right?
Should I send the same opening message to everyone?
I get it, coming up with the perfect opening line can be exhausting and time-consuming. So, you might be tempted to just copy and paste the same message to all your matches. But let me tell you, that takes away all the fun of getting to know someone new. Each person you match with is unique and has their own interests and passions. Some might be crazy about professional Frisbee, while others are proud of their card house building skills. If you send the same message to everyone, you’ll likely get the same boring responses. Let’s keep it interesting and show genuine interest, shall we?
